Friday, November 23, 2007

The Top 26 Reasons The French Are Rioting

26. Smoking banned in hospital operating-rooms

25. Domestic cats being attacked by serial skunk rapist

24. Population of fake Louis Vuitton bags reaching epidemic proportions

23. Matchpoint, Woody Allen's latest film, getting decent advanced buzz in America

22. Jerry Lewis announced two-month temporary retirement

21. Snooty Index at all-time high

20. Bill O'Reilly doesn't have enough reasons to bitch about them

19. Rodney Roi beat up by le police

18. French's Mustard tarnishing culinary reputation

17. European Union declares deodorant mandatory

16. 2006 model bidet delayed

15. Decades-old Truffaut/Godart debate finally reaches breaking point

14. Gerard Depardieu told them to

13. Can smell England from other end of chunnel

12. Found out escargot is actually snails

11. Heard a Jew got promoted at work

10. Hike in beret tax

9. All Frenchmen finally out of the closet

8. Pencil-thin-mustache factory outsourced to India

7. Upset to be seen along with London and school children's underpants

6. Neckerchiefs and striped shirts out of stock at Le Gap

5. Demanding royalties on Napoleon Dynamite

4. Sexual frustration caused by adorable pixie Audrey Tautou

3. La deluge (apres mois)

2. An American in Paris officially renamed A Freedom Lover in a Place Where They Hate Freedom

1. Because the French are assholes

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