If only we could do this in our soccer games

WOW, Kinda reminds me of myself

Brew Crew Public Serivce: One Night Stand Agreement

ONE NIGHT AGREEMENT

I find you attractive and desirable. In an effort to get to know you better and explore new opportunities, I propose we spend a romantic night together. Any activities we engage in must be mutually agreed upon. I promise my intention is to get to know you, with no harm intended, either physical or emotional. Although some intimate powers of romantic persuasion are acceptable, I will never attempt to force you to do anything you do not want to do. Our goal is to get to know each other in as many ways as possible, (without dating) including but not limited to adventurous, steaming hot, slippery "I can't take it anymore" marathon passionate sex. This is a personal desire of mine. I want you. I agree to keep this experience between us. It is strictly confidential. No one else needs to know. Friends, relatives, even strangers, and especially our mothers will not find out, or ever need to know. We are not dating. If in the event our adventure turns out to be a positive experience that you or I want to repeat, I agree to limit the attempts to ask to see you again. Either one of us has the option to ask the other again only once. If the second party says no, go away, I agree to never bring up the subject again. In that event I further agree to uphold our agreement to keep the entire adventure completely confidential, and a one time thing. It would be extremely rewarding for me to fulfill your every desire. I agree to put forth every possible effort to please you. During our one night relationship, I promise I will do my very best to fulfill your every desire, fantasy, want and need. Along with my own passion and orgasmic sexual surprises, I will satisfy you in precisely the way you ask me to, being as romantic as I can be. We agree to help each other clean up any messes including whipped cream & food stains. I promise to keep my volume down, so we don't disturb the neighbors, or arouse suspicion. We agree to leave quietly at our predetermined time without singing, skipping, or crying. I agree not to leave any distinguishing marks on your body, including hickies. Thank you very much for your consideration. I look forward to accepting your signature. Your place? ____________ My place? ____________

Signed _____________________________________ Date______________ Signed _____________________________________ Date ______________

Brought to you by www.relationshipcontract.net

Twinkie Vikings in Orlando

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Moe's Taven Prank Call Compilation

Bar jumper

This guy walks into a bar on the top of a very tall building. He sits down, orders a huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out. Five minutes later, the guy walks into the bar again, orders another huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out again. Five minutes later, he re-appears and repeats the whole thing. About half an hour later, another guy at the bar stops the first guy and says, "hey, how the heck are you doing that?!" The first guy responds, "oh, it's really simple physics. When you chug the beer, it makes you all warm inside and since warm air rises, if you just hold your breath you become lighter than air and float down to the sidewalk." "WOW!" exclaims the second man, "I gotta try that!" So he orders a huge beer, chugs it, goes over to the window, jumps out, and splats on the sidewalk below. The bartender looks over to the first man and says, "Superman, you're an asshole when you're drunk."

Astro-Drunks

Astronauts Drank Before Launch!! And the "Brew Crew" drinks before being launched!!

CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. - An independent health panel studying astronauts found "heavy use of alcohol" before launch, according to a published report Thursday. Come to think of it, if I was riding on a bomb I'd drink heavy too...Call me crazy....
The committee found that on at least two occasions, astronauts were allowed to fly after flight surgeons and other astronauts warned they were so intoxicated that they posed a flight-safety risk. We asked Bobbie, a life Brew Crew member and former astronut if this story was true and he said no they only drank juice boxes (do not look at the photo above as it was from his bachelor party).
The alcohol use by astronauts was within the standard 12-hour "bottle-to-throttle" rule, unlike the Brew Crew rule that there "is no rules". Additionally, a wood panel was created following the arrest in February of Bobbies former space shuttle lover Lisa Nowak, who was implicated in a love triangles with Bobbie and Twinkie. Twinkie left to become a Viking.
On Thursday afternoon, a media representative at the Big Johnson Space Center said no one was answering any questions at Bobbies house on the matter cause he closed his front door.

First photos of the Twinkie Vikings invading America

TWINKIE VIKINGS

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The World's Best Newspaper Going South

SAY IT ISN'T TRUE!!!!!

Weekly World News to close (aliens not blamed!)

MIAMI (Reuters) - Publisher American Media Inc. said on Tuesday it will stop printing the Weekly World News, which for 28 years gleefully chronicled the exploits of alien babies, animal-human hybrids and dead celebrities. This has been a main stay of the Brew Crew. The Brew Crew feels obligated to carry the torch for this great American institution. The only problem is most of the Brew Crew stories are not made up!!!! For example, see the front page of a recent WWW article....

My Old Street Sign

Isnt this nice, I found my old street sign that my neighbors lovingly put right in front of my house. I had such nice neighbors....

Sex Doll Rafting

The second annual inflatable sex doll raft race (aka ‘bubble baba challenge’) will be organized in north russia / leningrad region.

Anyone over 16, and of either sex, is allowed to take part in this second competition. The participants will have to swim in the complicated losevsky rapids of the vuoksa river near st. petersburg. The rapids are usually used for rafting in canoe and catamarans.

This competition isn't a sexually chauvinistic event; in last year’s edition (real) women rafted on the dolls. All participants stated that these rubber ‘products’are economical in usage, they float wonderfully. They gave some pet names to their dolls: mary and her poppins; speedy sterlet, cleopatra...

All participants must wear a helmet and a life vest. They also have to remain sober and those who are seen drunk are disqualified.

last years winner:
alexander korolev, who rafted on a no-name rubber sex doll taken on lease (a concept we don't want to think too much about).

And this year the Brew Crew has their own entry but unfortunately "Twinkie" ran out of air!!! And we all thought he was full of hot air!!!

www.newsforblondes.com

Only Rolling Rock would put thongs on a beer

What Your Favorite Drink Says About You

By Clive Bannister

Like your clothes, your job, or your strict adherence to Megan's Law, the cocktail you order at your local bar/restaurant/key party tells people a great deal about your personality. “What does it say, exactly?” you're probably wondering. Nothing good, we promise you. Use this handy guide to determine what kind of message you want your drink order to send to that overweight, sexless Target employee you're hoping to bump uglies with tonight. And remember, kids: Drink as much as you can, as fast as you can.

COSMOPOLITAN
Probable Hobby:
Looking at yourself in the mirror for long periods of time, then going directly back to the gym.

What Your Drink Says:
“I'm totally just out with my girlfriends right now, totally just dancing and having fun, but tomorrow, I will totally weep quietly at brunch through my Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses as I repeat the phrase, ‘so cute' as may times as I can.”

PINA COLADA
Probable Hobby:
Playing Jimmy Buffet tapes at a reasonable volume on your back porch in the suburbs.

What Your Drink Says:
“Why, yes, I did get these jeans at Wal-Mart.”

SEX ON THE BEACH

Probable Hobby:
Very literally, having sex on beaches.
What Your Drink Says:
“I am [between the ages of 18 and 20/40 and 45], and I order drinks with provocative names because I haven't experienced sex [ever/in a while]. I am under the mistaken belief that potential sexual partners will [be turned on/take pity on me] upon hearing the word ‘sex' in conjunction with my drink order. I am [very/extremely/mind bogglingly] lonely.”

MARTINI

Probable Hobby:
Standing next to German cars that aren't yours, having fake cell phone conversations about the strength of your nonexistent portfolio, and carrying around a tennis racket you have no intention of ever using on a court.
What Your Drink Says:
“Ah, yes. Gore Vidal. The Masters. Mercedes-Benz. Ha, ha! What's that, old chap? How dare you accuse me of stringing together random words associated with the upper class? I went to Yale School, you rapscallion!”

WHITE WINE

Probable Hobby:
Buying important-looking books at Barnes & Noble, placing them on your bookshelf, never reading them.
What Your Drink Says:
“Not only do I think I'm better than you and therefore too good to drink anything other than this '98 Pinot at a crowded sports bar, but I would also prefer it if you and your $20 shirt would quietly eat your Jalapeño Poppers and return to the middle-class suburb from whence you came.”

MARGARITA

Probable Hobby:
Attending outdoor summer concerts of ass-awful, washed-up bands like Van Halen and REO Speedwagon. Also, you wear jean shorts there.
What Your Drink Says:
“I don't have any issues with drinking during the day or experimenting with others.”

BLOODY MARY

Probable Hobby:
Drinking heavily as early in the morning as possible. Also, drinking cold soup out of a glass.
What Your Drink Says:
“I have trouble sitting through late breakfasts and early lunches with other people on account of my crippling dependence on alcohol. Luckily tomato juice-based drinks exist that allow me to get smshed as early in the morning as possible.”

LONG ISLAND ICED TEA

Probable Hobby:
Reckless behavior that endangers yourself and others, and is therefore hilarious.
What Your Drink Says:
“So, wait—you're saying that my date-rape conviction is a turn-off? Come on, that was, like, four months ago. I'm real different now, baby. Hey, hey, hey—where do you think you're going in such a hurry?”

PBR CAN

Probable Hobby:
Looking for change in your couch, reading catalogs, using pay phones.
What Your Drink Says:
“The career of President of the Brew Crew is going exceptionally well. So well, if fact, that I've made the move from ramen noodles to spaghetti with butter. Can I offer you a handful of these unsalted generic-brand peanuts, m'lady?”

ANYTHING WITH GREY GOOSE

Probable Hobby:
Tip-frosting parties with your Men's Health-reading buddies from ab class, pointing at people with gun-hands while you dance to Justin Timberlake music.
What Your Drink Says:
“My third leg doesn't function correctly, and I believe, against all evidence available to me, that 50 Cent is a talented and versatile musical artist.”

JAGER SHOT

Probable Hobby:
Punching people in the face.
What Your Drink Says :
“Man, I could really punch someone in the face right about now.”

TAP WATER

Probable Hobby:
Going to the bar, getting so freaked out that the mere sight of a beer will bring your dinner back with a vengeance. Also of note: you have a great deal of self-control when it comes to choosing sexual partners.

What Your Drink Says:
“Wait, wait, wait. I'm gonna puke. Seriously, I'm gonna puke… [Unintelligible] … Ugh… hold on, hold on. Lemme talk. That girl/guy with the face rash is kinda hot.”

Lego Beer Song

Brew Crew versus Jemclash

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Victoria Beckham has freaky legs. Yuck

This pic, taken as Posh teetered to a photo shoot in Beverley Hills, shows that the skeletal one has some freaky-deaky shit going on with the inside of her legs.

Homer Vs The Giant

By Cernig

Personally, I think this is hill-arious. (H/t Kat)

Pagans have pledged to perform "rain magic" to wash away cartoon character Homer Simpson after he was painted next to their famous fertility symbol - the Cerne Abbas giant.The 17th century chalk outline of the naked, sexually aroused, club-wielding giant is believed by many to be a symbol of ancient spirituality.A giant 180ft Homer Simpson brandishing a doughnut was painted next to the well-endowed figure in a publicity stunt to promote The Simpsons Movie released later this month. It has been painted with water-based biodegradable paint which will wash away as soon as it rains.Ann Bryn-Evans, joint Wessex district manager for The Pagan Federation, said: "It's very disrespectful and not at all aesthetically pleasing."We were hoping for some dry weather but I think I have changed my mind. We'll be doing some rain magic to bring the rain and wash it away."She added: "I'm amazed they got permission to do something so ridiculous. It's an area of scientific interest."So the PF inflicts itself with holier-than-thou sanctimonious crap yet again. There's so few in the PF who actually possess a sense of humour. Ann needs to dig the pointy pentacles out of her butt and recall that the Charge has a bit about "mirth and reverence". Amazingly, there are far fewer pagans in the Wessex PF than there are in Wessex. I wonder why that is?

(Oh, and while Homer has a big donut, Cerne has a bigger tonker. Who do you think wins a face-off there?)

"We Want Beer" - A bit of history

Labor union members in Newark, New Jersey march against Prohibition, carrying signs that read, "We Want Beer," October 31, 1931.

Courtesy of: www.beerbooks.com

www.beerlovercam.com/

Here is a new web-site to visit.... www.beerlovercam.com... I think I see a new potential "BrewCrew" fan in the making......

Health in a glass of beer

BEER

Health In A Glass Of Beer

Even though doctors always stress the bad side of consuming alcoholic drinks, drinking beer in moderation can be medicine. Beer lovers can put a smile of their faces, because it has been scientifically proven that beer has its positive effects on health. Of course, this is connected to drinking in moderation.

Anti-cancer effects

An element found in hops, from which beer is made, has an anti cancer effect. Scientists are currently studying the possibility of using that ingredient in manufacturing medicine for treating some types of tumors.

Source of vitamins

Every glass of beer is a rich source of vitamin B6, which has been proven to have positive effects in lessening heart disease. Also, it has been shown that people who regularly drink beer have lower cholesterol and fat in their blood, and therefore a healthier cardiovascular system.

American-Finnish researchers conducted a study which proves that beer drastically reduces the danger of kidney stones by 40%.

Improves memory

Research by a Swedish team proved something very interesting. The brains of mice that were given the optimal amount of alcohol produced new brain cells. The same research showed that people who drink a few glasses of beer per week in their old age, have less problems with memory. Beer also slows down bodily signs of aging, as proven the 80 year Spiggy Dish of the Brew Crew still looks 55.

Awakens and relaxes

Even though there is no caffeine in beer, it has been shown that is has a slight wakening effect, and improves your mood by prompting the secretion of the “hormone of happiness” serotonin.

Beer does not contain too much alcohol, but only just enough to have a relaxing effect on the brain which reduces stress, and with that reduces the possibility of falling sick to a disease which results from constant stress.

10 Rules of Boozing

1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour.

2. Always toast before doing a shot.

3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast.

4. Change your toast at least once a month.

5. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.

6. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.

7. Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night.

8. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails.

9. Get the bartender's attention with eye contact and a smile.

10. Do not make eye contact with the bartender if you do not want a drink.

The Blue Bull
Pop the Top, I Dare You
Schlitz Malt Liquor

Believe it or not, when Schlitz added malt liquor to its stable in 1963, their plan was to market it to an upscale clientele. This was before malt liquor had acquired its rough and tumble reputation, and the marketing boys thought the stronger, richer, less carbonated brew might appeal to the sort of sport who imbibed imported ales in between cruising around in his MG Midget.

A far cry from today’s 64 oz behemoths of instant street cred, it was initially sold in dainty 8 oz cans, and print ads went so far as to suggest you should enjoy it on the rocks with a twist of lemon. Though they were also quick to point out it was smooth enough to sip “straight up.” Uh-huh.

Another ad featured a wealthy matron wrapped in pearls giggling over a tray of long-stemmed glasses bearing a bull logo, paired with the copy: “Mildred never used to be famous for her parties. Then she introduced Schlitz Malt Liquor.” Yeah. Bet it gave Mildred a big ol' boost up the social ladder.

Unsurprisingly, this woefully misguided marketing strategy barely survived the decade. A much more masculine campaign kicked off in 1972 with a flurry of TV spots revolving around the idea that popping a can of Schlitz entailed the kind of macho excitement only a marauding 2000-lb bull bursting through the nearest wall and ripping the shit out of everything in sight could generate.

Why It Worked: Though the angry bull logo was the product of happenstance rather than the brain-child of cynical Madison Avenue types, it could well have been. Higher-alcohol content and bolder taste demands virile and macho imagery (see Colt .45, King Cobra, etc.) and historically, all the way back to those bull-worshipping Minoans, nothing suggests virility and machismo more than a bull with a bad attitude.

Evolution: The raging bull we’ve come to know and love appeared in Schlitz’s print advertising as early as 1933. Why a bull? Because Schlitz Brewery heir Henry Uihlein’s pride and joy was a prize Brahma named Prince. When Schlitz kicked off their malt liquor brand, the logo on the cans was a stately bull head that wouldn’t look out of place in a Minoan fresco (see right). Eight years later, once they realized who their market really was, the raging blue version made its leap onto the product and TV screens alike. Since then the icon has changed very little, aside from steadily growing in size on the cans and bottles. Spin-offs of the original formula featured a change in hue (Red Bull XL Malt Liquor), and a snarling "xtreme" bull head with a prominent nose ring (Bull Ice).

Dark Secret: Zane, the one-ton Brahma bull featured in the TV spots, was an eunuch. He was neutered in his youth and reputedly was as gentle as a lamb (and one helluva an actor.)

Claim to Fame: Took the silver in the malt liquor category at the 2004 Great American Beer Festival. The less venerable (though equally macho) Samurai Malt Liquor took the gold--go figure.

I see boobies

Even if you gave me a hundred years, there's still no way I'd ever accurately guess what Prince Charles is doing.

Beer makers spill brew on docks to protest Senate bill

A group of Wisconsin brewers blasted open barrels of beer on the docks of the Milwaukee River on Tuesday in the Brew City's version of the Boston Tea Party.

Their sticky statement was in protest of a little-publicized state Senate bill that they said would create complications for startup breweries.

The big brew-ha is over a proposed update to antiquated, post-Prohibition laws related to the blooming business of craft beer making.

Basically, it divides small brewers into two licensed classes -- those who want to serve food as brewpubs, and those who seek to bottle and distribute their product on a larger scale to groups such as The Brew Crew. The latter would face new restrictions on food service.

The brewers (not to be confused with The Brew Crew), who acknowledge they're not savvy about the legislative process, say it's not fair for new beer makers to have to decide their fate that early.

"Every business takes on a life of its own," said Jim McCabe, proprietor of the Milwaukee Ale House. "For the guy that wants to start a brewery tomorrow, he's got to make decisions early in his business life that aren't possible."

After countdowns in English and German, the kegs were opened with mallets that spewed suds across the deck and into the Milwaukee River.

How to Become a Stripper

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www.uglyfootballers.com

This is definately a website worth mentioning!!!! This has "Brew Crew" written all over it!! We were thinking of submitting our photo's but we have not been choosen to play in the Premiership yet! They keep sending our application back and I do not understand! Bunch of English Floozies!!!! There just mad they lost the war.......TWICE!!!!!

http://www.uglyfootballers.com/

15 Reasons Why Beer is Better Than Women

1) A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
2) When you go to a bar you can always pick up a beer.
3) A beer won't get upset if you come home and have beer on your breath.
4) You don't have to wine and dine a beer.
5) If you pour a beer just right you'll always get good head.
6) Hangovers go away.
7) When you are finished with a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents.
8) You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
9) A beer always goes down easy.
10) You can share a beer with your friends.
11) Beer is always wet.
12) You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.
13) A frigid beer, is a good beer.
14) You can have more than one beer and not feel guilty.
15) You can enjoy a beer all month long.

A Real Beer Ad

Noooooooooooooooo!

Beer prices climbing

DENVER, July 5 (UPI) -- Beer prices have risen 3 percent in the past year and could go even higher next year.
The price of barley, which has jumped 48 percent in the last 11 months, is expected to impact beer prices, The Denver Post reported. Barley prices were driven up when many barley farmers switched to corn crops to feed the growing biofuel market.

"We're definitely concerned. We don't want to be in a position where to remain profitable we price our beer out of some consumers. We want to be able to keep our beer affordable," said Doug Odell, founder and brewmaster at Odell Brewing Co. in Fort Collins, Colo., told the Post.

Beer sales total $189.3 billion annually, the Beer Institute reported.

It's basic mathmatics

"Sweet Transvestite Fireman"

Judging by the size of that hose he wont be putting many fires out!!!

An Ohio family on an outing at a public park had their picnic turned upside down when they spotted off-duty firefighter Steven S. Cole lurking nearby.The father of the family was particularly dismayed by Steven S. Cole's apparel choices for the day. Police were called in, and Cole was arrested, booked, photographed and plastered all over the Internet.What is so wrong with a man wearing a bikini on a balmy day? After all, the flip-flops match the top.

FAU 5v5 - Spring 2007

The Pictures Say It All!!!


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Brew Crew v Riot....What a Riot!!!!!

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Happy 4th of July from the Brew Crew

There is no better way to celebrate our "Nations Birth" than to celebrate with an "All-American Brew"

Who does this remind you of???

Brew Crew Loves Star Trek....NOT!!!!!!!

ALWAYS REMEMBER STAR TREK IS FOR DORKS!!!!!!

Man Eats Underwear To Beat Breathalyzer

Kegerator Conversion Kits

Once again Beer Technology has struck the Brew Crew's attention. Here is a great way to keep that keg cold in the frig!!!!!!

Save money by building your own draft beer kegerator! Kegerator conversion kits offer an economical way to convert a chest freezer or apartment refrigerator into a kegerator beer dispenser. In addition to being far less expensive than keg refrigerators, a kegerator conversion kit saves you the money of buying beer cans and bottles. Plus you get to enjoy your favorite draft beer at home anytime!Whether in the home bar, rec room, kitchen or patio, our kegerator conversion kits are ideal for various locations as well custom installations. These kits come with high-quality commercial grade parts and easy to follow detailed instructions for installation. You can also call us at 1-800-710-9939 with any installation questions. Our draft beer experts are waiting to help you in your custom kegerator installation.

Link: http://www.beveragefactory.com/draftbeer/conversion-kits.shtml