Halloween at Heff's

Pumpkins Gone Wild!!!!

Pump-plants

Happy Birthday Twinky

Pumpkin Bras

pumpkin Crack

Kittie Carving

Oh those silly rednecks!!!

Happy Birthday - Mister Beer

Pumpkin Moon!!!!

Husband and Wife Pumpkins

Asskin

Spam & Bacon Lanterns!!!

Countdown to Halloweenie!!!!

Former soccer player turns porn star

Former Football Star Eva Roob competes in Miss Venus 2008, starting today and across the weekend in Berlin. Be there if you can!

The hottest girl on the Internet right now, former pro European football star turned Adult Industry sensation, 23-year-old blond star Eva Roob, otherwise known as Samira Summer today competes in the Miss Venus 2008 Pageant in Berlin.

The Miss Venus competition is part of the Venus festival centering around the lucrative European adult industry. Eva Roob is expected to compete with dozens of other hopefuls at the Berlin extravaganza, it includes VIP celebrity parties, stage shows, DJ sets, fashion and mayhem.

Samira Summer loves the hot summer time sun....The former German football player is a web hit, formally playing for a club in Neromberg in the defensive midfield where she was better known as Eva Roob. The money in the adult industry is far supirior to profresssional football, she says she loves the career change and that soccer made her "bored".

"Internationally famous models will take your breath away with erotic shows onstage... gorgeous girls, the stuff dreams are made of!, " the festival web site proclaims.

Eva Roob will be competing in heats and will culminate in the Miss Venus 2008 final on Sunday. Good luck to you Eva Roob!

Rising cost of crack cocaine allegedly leads to Fort Pierce man's arrest

FORT PIERCE — Upset at the rising cost of crack cocaine, a 46-year-old man accused of smashing up part of a local business and “challenging people to fight” Tuesday was arrested, according to a police report released Wednesday.
A manager of Dixon's Food Mart on Avenue D told police a man later identified as Gus Young Jr. came in the store about 9:20 p.m. Tuesday and smashed a counter partition and DVD case. As police were on the scene, the store manager pointed to a man on a bicycle in the parking lot and exclaimed, “There, he's back! That's him!”
Young smelled strongly of alcohol and was “challenging people to fight,” the report states.
“When Young calmed down, he said he was upset that the price of a rock (crack cocaine) had gone up to twenty dollars from ten dollars,” the report states. "Young claimed he swung his fist at a drug dealer in the store, but the drug dealer ducked and Young struck the partition and DVD case instead of the drug dealer.”
Young was arrested on charges including criminal mischief and disorderly intoxication.
At the jail, Young continued yelling about “how unfair the price of crack had become” and told detention deputies, "Stanky (expletives)! I brought me a ten and they're twenty tonight!”

Screw fishing plates!!!!!!

Wow, I didnt know Greenwich Village had a Soccer Store..

Such a "FABULOUS" collection.................

Getting your car washed this weekend?

Tequila

Giant pink rabbit can be seen from space

The vast, 200ft-long pink creature can be found lying on its back – like a toy discarded by a giant, fractious toddler – in the Italian Alps, near the village of Artesina.
And now you don't even need to travel to Italy to see it – because it has appeared on Google Maps.

The creation of Viennese art collective Gelitin, the rabbit was made in 2005, following (according to the artists) five years of intensive knitting and stuffing with straw. They write on their website that it's intended to appear 'as if knitted by giant grandmothers'.

Visitors to the rabbit aren't just expected to stand and stare at the art, nodding wisely. Gelitin suggest climbing over the rabbit, exploring the knitted internal organs spilling out of the hole in its side, or possibly going to sleep on its belly.

Happy Birthday

Beer surge to bring peace and hangovers to Iraq

A beer hall in Iraq has held its own version of Munich's famous Oktoberfest party - complete with frothy steins, sausages, an oom-pah band and dirndl-clad waitresses.
German-born Gunter Voelker, owner of the Deutscher Hof Erbil restaurant in Irbil, in Kurdish controlled Northern Iraq, says he wants to dispel the notion that Iraq isn't a holiday destination and insists beer is bringing people together.
'We can make this festival with Iraqi people, Turkish people, Kurdish people, American people, German people, with (people from) all over the world in peace and in a real good mood,' he said after the three-night party ended on Sunday.

Did you know?

Beer was born in Iraq?!? Well it wasn't Iraq at the time, but geographically speaking, yes, yes it was... Mesopotamia (That would be the southern portion of present-day Iraq) Beer started off as a religious experience. This is ironic, as various countries in the Middle East consider beer to be taboo.

Now you know where the Brew Crew's religious beliefs come from!!!!!!

German pop star marries a pineapple

As celebrity weddings go, it's one of the wackiest (and, er, sweetest) you're ever likely to see.
German pop star Ramma Damma, aka Ulli Hopper, decided to get married – to a pineapple.
Picking up his bride for about £8 – he wanted one who wasn't cheap – he drove her across the Scottish border to Gretna Green in a Jaguar covered in green AstroTurf.

There he and the pineapple – which he affectionately named Tippi – were wed before returning to his home in Munich.
'We drove through the night – it was a fun away wedding, not a runaway wedding,' he said.
'I loved her. I wanted to marry her. We stayed in Gretna Green Hall Hotel and we were married by a craftsman wearing a kilt.
'We enjoyed meals out. We would go to restaurants and she would enjoy a glass of water over dinner.
'Tippi loved to go to the movies – especially ones about earthquakes – and she would sit on my lap when she got scared.'
Now in case you were wondering why you've never heard of Hopper, this all happened 38 years ago.
But although Tippi has long since departed, the union has borne fruit.
Today, Hopper is known as the Green Rebel in Munich, where he runs the only 'plant sanctuary' in Germany, accommodating 300 indoor plants.
The 65-year-old is almost completely self-sufficient, even making his own stinging nettle spaghetti or brewing plum cider in a 230-litre bin.
'I will defend every plant,' he said. 'They are the wonders of our world – we just to need to listen to them.'

The Year in Beer

Beer. A sweet nectar from the gods themselves. A 8,000 year old process of refinement culminated into 12 oz of sublime libation. More than milk, coffee, or even bottle water, beer is the drink of choice for thirsty Americans of age. Yes, we Americans grease the wheels of human emotion with this social lubricant like no other. Some 200 million barrels a year go down our collective hatches. But instead of a string of numbers, lets visualize our way to grasping the United States' yearly beer consumption.

Only China is has a greater thirst, but they also have an extra billion people's thirst to quench so with only one fourth of the population, we certainly hold our own.

Of course the US beer industry is a juggernaught. Ranking around 35th on the global GDP list, our beer sales rival nations.

War is expensive, and so is free beer. Although it's though unlikely to ever see a politician campaign with a "Make beer, not war" slogan, it is good to know that the economics are there to make it happen.

While we are day dreaming about free beer, have you ever wanted a swimming pool full of the stuff? I sure hope not. The logistics of keeping a beer pool fresh and cold, not to mention making sure your drunk buddies don't pee in it, are mind boggling. But for 4% of the pool owners out there, this dream could be made a reality.

With moon-landing levels of public support, cooperation and diligence, we could get this lasting testament to the wonders of Beer created, and filled too. OK, still day dreaming here, but if you just wanted to visualize 30 teragrams of liquid, here you go. What's a teragram? It's a scientific way of saying "that's fucking heavy!"

Speaking of the moon, where would a visualization attempt be without some reference to the distance to the moon? If its too big for "around the earth x times"' then its "to the moon and back x times". Well this one was quite short of making it to our nearest neighbor, Mars, but this stack of cans tops out at a respectable 4.8 million miles of space. And just for you terrestrial types, that's around the earth 185 times. But really, what a waste of beer.

Here we go, socialism I can support. Seriously though, here is our yearly consumption as it relates to you. You don't drink, well that's two beers a day for your neighbor. Your wife doesn't drink? Three beers a day for your neighbor. Grandma never touches the stuff? Well then you get the idea. You might want to check in on your neighbor though, he may have a problem.

And finally, here is our yearly consumption and how it related those less fortunate. It's all about resources, though I doubt even the starving could choke down malted meals five nights a week. Yes the United States is wealthy and enjoys the good life, but just imagine the destruction and carnage that would occur with a nation full of sober and serious people. The hungry masses just might agree.

Mayor In Russia Says He Can See Sarah Palin Showering From His House

(Provideniya, Russia) Governor Sarah Palin, the Republican Vice Presidential nominee, has said that she can see Russia from her house. Across the Bering Strait in Provideniya Bay sits the town of Provideniya, Russia and its mayor Dimitri Andropov. He says that he can see Palin showering from HIS house. “And it is very nice.”

Mayor Andropov added that his small town, like America, is transfixed with the buxom Governor. “We have a shower watchman on duty 24/7. And when the delightful Palin turns on the water and lets down her hair, the alarm sounds, telling everyone to rush to my house for a show. The kids love it.”

Leonid Andropov, the Mayor’s brother, said that the ability to see Palin shower has given him and the other men a newfound respect for her. “She’s a very thorough cleaner, which is tough when one is dealing with moose guts, wolf blood and oil…And she doesn’t have a mustache, which is just a big plus for us.”

In a spontaneous Q&A at a Phoenix donut shop, Sarah Palin said that she’s okay with the Russians watching her shower. “I’m flattered. And hopefully my cleanliness can inspire them to go after freedom, liberty and democracy...so that they can create jobs, get more freedom and liberty to help the economic job search, then hunt down the terror loving terrorists and change their nation of human people for the better.”

“All I heard from that speech was change, and change to us is bad,” said Mayor Andropov. “Change means John McCain will win the election and take our water princess to shower in Washington D.C…We don’t want that to happen…Everything else Governor Palin said was over our small town heads. But that’s okay, because we like to watch Sarah the same way she likes to watch Saturday Night Live, with the sound turned down.”

In other news, Bill Clinton announced his candidacy for Mayor of Provideniya.

Hot Girls Gone Fugly

Brew Crew Metrosexual News

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Google unveils booze-proof email

We've all sent emails we regret after stumbling back home late at night in a fog of alcohol-fuelled bravado - a pathetic plea for reconciliation with an old flame, forwarding furry porn to your grandma, or accepting job offers to work at Metro. The sign of an ill-advised night is no longer a traffic cone on your oven the next morning, but something titled 'IVE WANTD TO SAY THIS FOR A LONG TIEM JEREMY' lurking guiltily in your Sent Mail folder.
If only there was some kind of drunkenness detector that could stop you from baring your virtual soul to loved ones and authority figures after a night on the funny juice. Well, now there is.
Google have just unveiled a feature for Gmail called Mail Goggles. It allows you to specify times and days when you fear you might be a bit tipsy (say, after 11pm on Fridays and Saturdays) - and if you try to send an email after that, it'll force you to take a sobriety test. If you're not of sufficiently sound mind to complete some basic arithmetic puzzles...

....................then you're also not in any fit state to be emailing anybody.

This is great step forward in making the internet booze-compliant. Now, if somebody could just make similar drunk-filters for Twitter, Facebook, MetaFilter and this blog, then we could finally enjoy the glorious world of alcohol without the lurking terror that we're going to end up doing the web equivalent of what this guy did.

Wishing you a happy monday morning

The Burkini

Happy Anniversary

Turn up the Sound

Be careful out there this weekend......

Our Economy - Brew Crew Style

If you had purchased $1,000 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago,

you would have $49 left. With Fannie Mae, you would have

$2.50 left of the original $1,000. With AIG, you would have less

than $15 left. But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago,

drank all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND,

you would have $214 cash.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

Woman Wearing Cow Suit Charged With Disorderly Conduct

MIDDLETOWN -- A Middletown woman is accused of being disorderly in public -- while wearing a cow suit.
A police report filed about the incident said Michelle Allen allegedly chased children in her neighborhood while wearing the suit on Monday evening.
Allen also urinated on a neighbor's front porch, the report said, and was warned by officers to go home and stay there.
Allen was charged with disorderly conduct after an officer found her causing traffic problems on North Verity Parkway.
The officer's report stated that Allen was verbally abusive to him on the trip to jail and smelled of alcohol.
The report did not speculate as to why Allen was wearing the cow suit.