Bad Photoshop

German police protection from sex-mad wife

BERLIN — A desperate Turkish man living in Germany has turned to the police for protection from his insatiable wife's constant demands for sex, authorities said on Wednesday.

The man came to his local police station in southwestern Germany on Tuesday saying that he had been sleeping on the sofa for the past four years to escape the clutches of his wife of 18 years and mother of their two children.

"Now he has decided to get a divorce and to move out... in the hope of finally getting some rest, particularly as he is anxious to arrive at work well rested," police said in a statement.

"At the moment this is impossible because he says his wife keeps coming into the living room demanding that he perform his marital duties. He asked for police help in getting some sleep at night."

Urgggg

Don't call this fire department

Commercials Men want to see

Do Nothing

Happy Birthday Tiffani

Bicycle Bar

Beer can pack on a lot of calories, especially if the only exercise you get is yelling at your friend to get you the bendy straw instead of the straight one for your next round.

That’s what makes this next mobile bar such a genius addition to any armchair bartender. Not only is this watering-hole-on-the-go completely mobile, but it goes from drunk to drunk on a bicycle. So not only can you knock back your favorite brewski where ever you go, but you can also knock off the calories after you drink it. That’s assuming, of course, that your bulbous beer belly doesn’t get caught in the chain.

Beer Cannon

The Clicker Remote

Having only two hands is the drinker’s curse. Two just isn't enough to handle all of the drink dispensing doodads, hooch gizmos and drunken whatadayacallthems. Why couldn’t God have given us at least one more arm? That would definitely come in handy when you’re playing the Oakland Raiders drinking game. Having to do shots every time one of them gets a personal foul or a fan commits felony assault can drive you into a coma if you don’t change the channel in time.

The makers of the “Clicker” have the solution. It’s a universal remote that works on just about any television and it has a bottle opener built into it, so you’re not constantly fumbling for the remote, the bottle opener, and a fresh brew. The only way it could be cooler is if they developed a beer bottle that could not only operate your TV, but also open itself.

Self-Refrigerating Beer Server

Drinking is supposed to be relaxing, but it’s hard to enjoy your favorite brew when you’re constantly getting up and running to your mini-fridge for one of your drunken friends who may or may not throw up if he stands up too fast.

Instead of hiring an indentured servant to walk that five extra feet to the bar or developing friends with stronger digestive systems, why not let technology go on a beer run for you? This robot from Japan not only cracks open and pours you a beer, but it also keeps them cold in its personal cooled container. The only way it could be better is if it came with a lifetime warranty that guaranteed it would still serve the humans during the inevitable robot uprising.

Adult Film Star Speeling Bee Part II

AEE 2011: The Adult Film Star Spelling Bee Part 2 | Girls | SPIKE.com

Adult Film Star Spelling Bee

AEE 2011: The Adult Film Star Spelling Bee Part 1 | Girls | SPIKE.com

A pint of your fastest, please: The beers that fill from the bottom

GrinOn have invented an ingenious machine that uses a system of magnets to fill a pint of beer from the bottom up, both saving tie and looking very cool.

If you get irritated in pubs while waiting for your drink, help could be at hand. A beer dispenser that fills glasses in seconds has been invented and is said to be the quickest of its kind in the world. The Bottoms Up Draft Beer Dispenser fills specially made glasses from the bottom up. The glasses are held in place by a magnet, which floats up to a specific fill point before sinking down to plug the hole in the bottom. Its maker, GrinOn of the US, hopes to make a version for the home.

German bosses can now order women to wear bras to work

German bosses can now order women to wear bras to work, after a court ruling in North Rhine-Westphalia on Wednesday.

But they should be flesh or white coloured only as bright colours may ‘shine through'. The State Labour Court in North Rhine-Westphalia made the ruling during a case involving the dress and grooming habits of airport security personnel, but its decisions will apply to all workplaces in the most populous German state.The ruling wasn’t a complete victory for bosses though – while the length of a female employee’s fingernails can be determined by her immediate superiors, companies do not have the right to ban certain shades of nail polish. And while they can ensure hair is clean and groomed and order male employees to keep their beard in check, wigs – banned under the airport security personnel’s rulebook – can still be worn. But for German ladies who like to go sans-bra, the ruling isn’t all bad. The court also ruled that females can go bra-less if they are wearing an undershirt.

The cause of the Brett Farve scandal!!

Kinda helps you see things Brett's way, huh?

A Tribute to Archie Bunker

“No bum that can’t speak poifect English oughta stay in this country…oughta be de-exported the hell outta here!”

“Why doncha get some chinkypuncture?”

“Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we’ve got television.”

“Sit right down there, seniorora.”

“There’s nothing wrong with revenge – it’s the best way to get even!”

“The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband being big enough to step back and see where the wife is wrong.”

“Listen Edith, I know you’re singing, you know you’re singing, but the neighbors may think I’m torturing you.”

“It ain’t supposed to make sense; it’s faith. Faith is something that you believe that nobody in his right mind would believe.”

“Now I’m gonna synchrosize the watch.”

“We hold these semi-animal meetings.”

Police arrest alleged panties thief

A 62-year old Florida man was arrested for allegedly stealing his neighbors panties.
Thursday, January 13, 2011


HOLMES BEACH, Fla., Jan. 13 (UPI) -- Police in Florida said a 62-year-old man was arrested after his 23-year-old neighbor accused him of stealing her underwear.

The Holmes Beach Police Department said the woman reported 23 pairs of her panties had disappeared in the past few years and her 21-year-old sister reported 16 pairs of thong panties missing, The Bradenton (Fla.) Herald reported Wednesday.

Police said the home of neighbor Ernest Kendler, 62, was searched after the 23-year-old woman reported catching him in her home going through dresser drawers in her sister's bedroom. Officers discovered two pairs of panties the woman identified as belonging to her.

Investigators said the panties were being tested for DNA to confirm they belong to the woman.

Kendler was arrested on suspicion of theft and was released after posting $10,000 bond Monday. Mark Lipinski, Kendler's lawyer, said his client "looks forward to confronting and discrediting this evidence in court."

Retarded

Italian President

New Speaker

The Drowning Machine

Warning

Trees

Our Kinda Beer

Sonic booms 'make crocodiles crave sex'

Each time Israeli warplanes break the sound barrier over a crocodile breeding farm in the Golan Heights, the randy reptiles begin emitting their ritual mating cry, according to the daily Maariv newspaper. The calls appeared to be a response to the sonic booms, which seemed to convince the crocodiles that other males had begun making mating signals, it was reported. David Golan, head of crocodile breeding at the Hamat Gader park, told the newspaper: 'The powerful squealing noises, reminiscent of the sound of a car braking, can be heard from hundreds of metres (yards) around.' There are around 100 crocodiles at the park, which is underneath airspace used by the Israeli air force for training runs. But a population boom is not expected, however, because the official mating season does not begin until the summer.

Mile high club flights branded 'too distracting' for pilots

Love is no longer in the air for Mile High Flights, after aviation authorities refused to renew its licence because hearing lovemaking may be distracting for pilots.
The saucy air charter company had offered passengers the ultimate pleasure flight, by giving amorous couples - and on one occasion a threesome - the chance to book a plane ride specifically to join the mile high club. It had operated the flights in a Cessna light aircraft, complete with a bedroom area curtained off from the cockpit, from Gloucestershire Airport for the past two years, charging £640 a time for the experience - and even providing customers with a 'certificate of initiation'. Mile High Flights has now had to halt the service after the Civil Aviation Authority (CAA) withdrew it licence on safety grounds. Mike Crisp, the company's founder, claimed the real reason the flights had been grounded is that someone in the CAA disapproves of people joining the mile high club. 'I am getting emails every week from couples who want to go up in the plane. It's a shame we've had to stop because of some prudish snobbery on the part of the CAA,' he complained. The CAA insisted it 'cast no moral judgements' and that safety fears were the reason for Mile High Flights' licence not being renewed.

2010 Summarized in One Epic Infographic

2010 Year in Review by Online Schools

| View Infographic Full Screen

Happy 2011 from the Brew Crew...........

Let's face-it, hot women are always a good way to start off the New Year!!!!!