Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
The Big Lebowski Monopoly Game Board
With everything you need to play except game pieces, but you've probably got some Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
The Top 166 And A Half Things Found In A Scranton Woman’s Vagina
A woman in Scranton, Pennsylvania was arrested on suspicion of burglary. After a thorough body search, authorities found an amazing array of items hidden in her vagina. Here is the full menu of vaginal contraband. Since the denominations were not announced (and for the sake of running up the score), the $55.22 were broken down into individual dollars and cents. In the race to turn body cavities into clown cars, this woman is winning.
#
54 Bags Filled With Heroin
#
31 Empty Heroin Bags
#
8.5 Prescription Pills
#
51 Dollars
#
22 Cents
#
54 Bags Filled With Heroin
#
31 Empty Heroin Bags
#
8.5 Prescription Pills
#
51 Dollars
#
22 Cents
Thursday, March 24, 2011
The government of Malawi's proposed environmental control legislation, introduced in January, was thought by some advocates to be broad enough to criminalize flatulence. The justice minister said the section about "fouling the air" should cover extreme flatus, but the country's solicitor general insisted that only commercial air pollution was punishable. [BBC News, 1-29-2011]
Only 20 percent of Cambodians have access to toilets (half as many as have mobile phones), and missions such as International Development Enterprises blanket the countryside to urge more toilet usage. In one promotion campaign in Kandal province, according to a February BBC News dispatch, an investigating team called a public meeting and singled out ("amid much laughter") one particular farmer whom it had calculated as producing the most excrement of anyone in the village.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Best Real Estate Agents in the World
This Australian ad for real estate Neo Property’s listing for 15 Queen Anne Court may lack in subtlety, but it doesn’t lack in implied lesbianism, girls in their underwear, action movie budgeting, and a sweaty lingerie model tied up and writhing. Easily the sexiest ad you’ve seen since those Morgan Fairchild ones for Old Navy’s cargo pants.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
St. Patrick's Day
* What You Need To Know
* Eating a carb-heavy meal will help slow the absorption of alcohol.
* Stay hydrated by drinking a glass of water for every alcoholic drink you consume.
* Carbonated drinks are a recipe for a hangover.
"Just act drunk and no one will question you."
St. Patrick's Day is a day of color and social celebration in honor of Ireland's patron saint, Saint Patrick. Right? Well, it should be; however, nowadays it's really just a day of excessive alcohol consumption and misplaced inhibitions. Not surprisingly, most people have no idea who St. Patrick really was or that he was commonly associated with the color blue and not green. Yet somehow green got thrown into the mix and nobody even stopped to wonder why. In all honesty, however, no one's to blame -- we were all too busy drinking. Since this year's celebration will likely be much the same as the last, AM has nailed down a solid list of St. Patrick’s Day prep measures to avoid the cursed St. Paddy's Day hangover.
Before
1- Abstain
Want to avoid a hangover? Then follow our first step on our St. Patrick’s Day prep guide, which is to not drink before the drinking begins. This sounds difficult, but it's really quite simple. While it may take some sneakiness on your part, like drinking rounds of pure club soda and lying about the alcoholic content, it can be done. The key is in the delivery. Just act drunk and no one will question you. If all else fails, cite that you're driving or that you have a huge presentation in the morning and be proud in your soberness. However, be forewarned, while abstinence sounds grand, it isn’t exactly realistic.
2- Eat
Our next step in our St. Patrick’s Day prep involves eating alcohol-friendly foods. Most of us know to never drink on an empty stomach, but some are unaware that the types of food you eat before you abuse your insides can be important as well. Eating fatty foods that are full of dense carbs and lots of protein will slow the absorption of alcohol into the bloodstream. This is why folk remedies such as olive oil and milk are purported to work. While filling up on hangover-fighting foods will mean it'll take longer to feel that oh-so-familiar buzz, it also gives your body more time to process alcoholic byproducts, thus increasing your chances of feeling fine the next morning.
3 - Take a multivitamin
Alcohol depletes your body of the B complex vitamins and vitamin C. In fact, it depletes a handful of other vitamins and further impairs future nutrient absorption. The end result is a wide-reaching depletion of essential vitamins and minerals that can leave you feeling, well, hungover. The easiest solution is to cover an entire array of vitamins and minerals by taking a decent multivitamin. Take one before drinking or just after and you may notice a difference when you wake.
During
1- Pace yourself
With age comes wisdom, and it is perhaps a fault of youth to think that you need to get as drunk as humanly possible in the shortest amount of time. From a pure cost-benefit perspective, pacing yourself far outweighs the need for speed: it will preserve your cash flow, it'll lessen the chances of a hangover and it will increase your chances of chatting up an alcohol-marinated female. What more do you need?
2- Stick to beer (or clean spirits)
The point here is to be consistent with your choice of alcoholic beverage. Mixing will only increase the amount of crap floating around in your bloodstream. Though St. Paddy's is usually a celebration of beer, clear spirits (like vodka) have fewer congeners (impurities developed from the fermentation process) and are thus less likely to mess with your liver. If you can't help yourself, just follow the old adage: Beer before liquor, never been sicker; liquor before beer, you're in the clear.
3- Avoid carbonation
If you do choose to dance with lady liquor, paying attention to your lady's dance partner is a steadfast way to prevent downstream agony. Carbonation in sodas or champagne will increase absorption of alcohol into the blood; in other words, it will get you drunk and sicker a lot quicker. Excess sugar in sodas can also contribute to the morning blues. Your best bet is to mix with a fruit juice or plain old water. Adding a little bar lime mix or just lime on it's own to your vodka water can spice things up a bit if you need flavor.
4- Sip water between drinks
Building on our last point, there is no rule saying that you can't sip a glass of water between alcoholic beverages. The general rule of thumb is to go 1-for-1, but that's probably not realistic. So, whenever possible, just throw back a glass of water. If you must, sneak one in on a solo trip to the bar, or just come up with an excuse like you made out with some girl and she left a bad taste in your mouth. All memories of your devious deed will be lost in time like tears in the rain.
Paint the town green
So, as you run around with a big green clover painted on your bare chest, spilling as much alcohol as you’re drinking, do your best to remember these prep rules and you’ll feel in-step the day after St. Patrick’s Day. Luck o’ the Irish to ya!
* Eating a carb-heavy meal will help slow the absorption of alcohol.
* Stay hydrated by drinking a glass of water for every alcoholic drink you consume.
* Carbonated drinks are a recipe for a hangover.
"Just act drunk and no one will question you."
St. Patrick's Day is a day of color and social celebration in honor of Ireland's patron saint, Saint Patrick. Right? Well, it should be; however, nowadays it's really just a day of excessive alcohol consumption and misplaced inhibitions. Not surprisingly, most people have no idea who St. Patrick really was or that he was commonly associated with the color blue and not green. Yet somehow green got thrown into the mix and nobody even stopped to wonder why. In all honesty, however, no one's to blame -- we were all too busy drinking. Since this year's celebration will likely be much the same as the last, AM has nailed down a solid list of St. Patrick’s Day prep measures to avoid the cursed St. Paddy's Day hangover.
Before
1- Abstain
Want to avoid a hangover? Then follow our first step on our St. Patrick’s Day prep guide, which is to not drink before the drinking begins. This sounds difficult, but it's really quite simple. While it may take some sneakiness on your part, like drinking rounds of pure club soda and lying about the alcoholic content, it can be done. The key is in the delivery. Just act drunk and no one will question you. If all else fails, cite that you're driving or that you have a huge presentation in the morning and be proud in your soberness. However, be forewarned, while abstinence sounds grand, it isn’t exactly realistic.
2- Eat
Our next step in our St. Patrick’s Day prep involves eating alcohol-friendly foods. Most of us know to never drink on an empty stomach, but some are unaware that the types of food you eat before you abuse your insides can be important as well. Eating fatty foods that are full of dense carbs and lots of protein will slow the absorption of alcohol into the bloodstream. This is why folk remedies such as olive oil and milk are purported to work. While filling up on hangover-fighting foods will mean it'll take longer to feel that oh-so-familiar buzz, it also gives your body more time to process alcoholic byproducts, thus increasing your chances of feeling fine the next morning.
3 - Take a multivitamin
Alcohol depletes your body of the B complex vitamins and vitamin C. In fact, it depletes a handful of other vitamins and further impairs future nutrient absorption. The end result is a wide-reaching depletion of essential vitamins and minerals that can leave you feeling, well, hungover. The easiest solution is to cover an entire array of vitamins and minerals by taking a decent multivitamin. Take one before drinking or just after and you may notice a difference when you wake.
During
1- Pace yourself
With age comes wisdom, and it is perhaps a fault of youth to think that you need to get as drunk as humanly possible in the shortest amount of time. From a pure cost-benefit perspective, pacing yourself far outweighs the need for speed: it will preserve your cash flow, it'll lessen the chances of a hangover and it will increase your chances of chatting up an alcohol-marinated female. What more do you need?
2- Stick to beer (or clean spirits)
The point here is to be consistent with your choice of alcoholic beverage. Mixing will only increase the amount of crap floating around in your bloodstream. Though St. Paddy's is usually a celebration of beer, clear spirits (like vodka) have fewer congeners (impurities developed from the fermentation process) and are thus less likely to mess with your liver. If you can't help yourself, just follow the old adage: Beer before liquor, never been sicker; liquor before beer, you're in the clear.
3- Avoid carbonation
If you do choose to dance with lady liquor, paying attention to your lady's dance partner is a steadfast way to prevent downstream agony. Carbonation in sodas or champagne will increase absorption of alcohol into the blood; in other words, it will get you drunk and sicker a lot quicker. Excess sugar in sodas can also contribute to the morning blues. Your best bet is to mix with a fruit juice or plain old water. Adding a little bar lime mix or just lime on it's own to your vodka water can spice things up a bit if you need flavor.
4- Sip water between drinks
Building on our last point, there is no rule saying that you can't sip a glass of water between alcoholic beverages. The general rule of thumb is to go 1-for-1, but that's probably not realistic. So, whenever possible, just throw back a glass of water. If you must, sneak one in on a solo trip to the bar, or just come up with an excuse like you made out with some girl and she left a bad taste in your mouth. All memories of your devious deed will be lost in time like tears in the rain.
Paint the town green
So, as you run around with a big green clover painted on your bare chest, spilling as much alcohol as you’re drinking, do your best to remember these prep rules and you’ll feel in-step the day after St. Patrick’s Day. Luck o’ the Irish to ya!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Happy Birthday Chuck
Chuck Norris Facts
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72… and they’re all poisonous.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
There is no chin under Chuck Norris’ Beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72… and they’re all poisonous.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
There is no chin under Chuck Norris’ Beard. There is only another fist.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Friday, March 4, 2011
Porn for the blind
Toronto sculptor-photographer Lisa Murphy added to her reputation for devising "porn for the blind" by producing four more hand-molded erotic figures generated by using clay to replicate photographic scenes of nude and lingerie-clad models (accompanied by descriptions in Braille). "The butt was the hardest to sculpt," she said. "I wanted to get it nice and even, and give it a feminine softness so it would actually feel like a woman's butt." Her first book, "Tactile Mind," with 17 such raised erotic works, sells for $225 (Cdn). [Adult Video News, 1-19-2011]
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
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