Thursday, June 30, 2011

Maine homeless man charged for charging cellphone


BANGOR, Maine (AP) - Police have brought charges against a homeless man in Maine who helped himself to an outdoor electrical outlet to charge a pair of cellphones.

A Bangor police officer checking downtown businesses discovered 23-year-old Shaun Fawster charging his cellphones in an outlet hidden behind some flowers.

Fawster was charged last weekend with theft of services, as well as carrying a concealed weapon after the officer found a folding knife tucked underneath his shirt.

The Bangor Daily News says Fawster was later released from jail. It's unknown if he has an attorney.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Australian amateur footballer sent off for genitalia piercing

Australian amateur footballer sent off for genitalia piercing

In a supremely bizarre scene in Australia, an amateur footballer was shown a red card for a series of events that resulted from him playing with a genitalia piercing. And making it all the more surreal, the referee followed him into the dressing room to make sure he removed it right before sending him off anyway.

The player in question was Old Hill Wanderers captain Aaron Eccleston, and during a VicSoccer league match against Swinburne University reserves, the subject of his body piercing (which, as jewelry, is forbidden under the laws of the game) became the focus of attention. The Old Hill Wanderers' official website explains what happened:

During the first half, our player was struck in the groin by the ball, and left the field to receive attention.  At this point the referee became aware that the he had a body piercing. He subsequently received two yellow cards, firstly for re-entering the field of play without the referee's permission, and secondly for privacy reasons being unable to prove that he had removed the piercing. At no point during the incident did the player of Old Hill Wanderers expose himself to the referee or to other players on the field.

Old Hill Wanderers FC is satisfied that the conduct of both the referee and our player was reasonable, and accepts that the two yellow cards given to the player were in accordance with the laws of football.

Old Hill Wanderers FC apologises to VicSoccer and the referee in question regarding the negative attention that may have been generated by this unfortunate event.

The video of the incident (with NSFW audio) can be seen here. It clearly shows the referee escort Eccleston into the dressing room, then a short time later the two come out and the ref promptly flashes his red card.

According to the Herald Sun, Eccleston refused to speak about the matter. But he did comment on Twitter. When asked how he feels about all of Melbourne knowing about his piercing, Eccleston said: "I don't think my mum's going to be particularly happy!

Friday, June 24, 2011

Gaydar

Women and Kaka really do have a 'gaydar' and can tell a man's sexuality just by looking at them

By CLAIRE ELLICOTT

Last updated at 11:20 AM on 24th June 2011


It's just plain biology: A woman's need for a mate gives her the instinct to tell a man's sexual orientation

It's just plain biology: A woman's need for a mate gives her the instinct to tell a man's sexual orientation

If a woman tells you she can spot a gay man just by looking at him, don't dismiss her claim out of hand.

Scientists say women really do have 'gaydar', which helps them spot whether a man is straight or gay just by looking at his face.

And the instinct is at its strongest when she is at her most fertile and in the mood for romance.

Their findings suggest that a woman's ability to determine whether a potential male partner is straight or gay is linked to the impulse to have children.

During the three experiments, some 40 heterosexual women were shown a set of photographs of 80 men's faces, all with the same expression.

Researchers found women were remarkably adept in being able to spot the gay and straight men.

But in a similar experiment using photographs of gay and straight women, they were less able to differentiate.

The study, by psychologists from the University of Toronto, then compared the results to the women's cycles and found those at their most fertile had the most accurate male 'gaydar'.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Sex Toys for Japan's Earthquake Victims

Tenga
Tenga's Rolling Head Cup -- if you don't know what it's for, you probably don't need to.
According to tabloid-translation site Tokyo Reporter, Japan's top sex toy manufacturer has created a sensation in recovery efforts by donating hundreds of its most popular product to Tohoku shelters.

Tenga's can-shaped, lubricant-filled "synthetic vaginas" have already caused a (neatly contained) splash with teens and loners around the world.

Now, we're told, they're doing their part to ease tensions in crowded shelters up north.

Since the March 11 disaster in Tohoku, a great many organizations have rushed to send aid to the thousands of victims who remain in refugee shelters, unable to return home.

Different strokes

At first, this aid took the form of food, blankets, clothing and essential toiletries.

But now that three months have passed with little hope of return home in sight, a need for a new sort of aid has emerged. That's where Tenga comes in.

It all started when an enterprising volunteer by the name of Shinichi Motoyanagi purchased and donated several dozen of the company's "Egg series" products to shelter residents in Fukushima Prefecture's Iwaki City.

Word of the miracle worker spread quickly, particularly among middle-aged men who weren't as knowledgeable about the newfangled device.

Before long Tenga stepped in to provide the devices to residents free of charge.

Perhaps you could call it different strokes for stranded folks?

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Marriage News???

70% of Existing Marriages May Already Be Gay

New Study Yields Surprising Results



NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - As lawmakers in New York clashed over legalizing gay marriage, a new study revealed that well over seventy percent of existing marriages may already be gay.

The study, conducted by Dr. Davis Logsdon of the Marital Behavior Institute at the University of Minnesota, confirmed what many social scientists have long suspected: that within the first five years of marriages, most men become, for all intents and purposes, gay.

"Soon after marrying, most men stop hitting on women and start shopping for furniture," Dr. Logsdon said. "Scientifically speaking, how gay is that?"

Within ten years of marriage, he added, a significant number of married men stop having sex with women altogether.

"There's only one way to describe someone who does not have sex with women, does not hit on women, and spends his free time shopping for furniture," he said. "That word, to be scientific about it, is gay."

Elsewhere, by a 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court asked Kagan, Ginsburg and Sotomayor to make them coffee.

Get the Borowitz Report delivered to your inbox for free here.

SEE ANDY BOROWITZ'S FREE SHOW IN CENTRAL PARK JUNE 28

Monday, June 20, 2011

Tequila!



----

 

 

 

This is How Tequila Works...

Any questions?

Nobody explained it this way before...

 

 




Saturday, June 18, 2011

Anything for a Parade

BOULDER, Colo. (AP) - The Nederland Area Chamber of Commerce in Colorado is offering to sell the rights to a celebration of a frozen dead guy.

Bredo Morstoel's corpse has been packed in dry ice in a shed at the mountain town since 1993. He died in 1989 at age 89 and his Norwegian family preserved his body in hopes technology will be developed to bring him back to life.

The 10-year-old festival attracted 15,000 people in March. It features a parade of hearses, frozen salmon tossing and coffin races.

Interim chamber president Blue Hessner says the chamber wants to sell rights to the event and concentrate on business development.

According to the Boulder Daily Camera, the event has become too expensive and the chamber believes an event company could do a better job.



Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Sexting Money Maker

image.jpeg

NEW YORK (AP) - An online action figure company has jumped on the Anthony Weiner sexting scandal bandwagon with a doll of the New York congressman in two versions: censored and uncensored.

HeroBuilders.com of Oxford, Conn., is offering the "standard" doll for $39.95 and the anatomically correct "for adults only" version for an extra $10.

Both are dressed in a gym shirt and shorts with a label that reads "Tweet This."

Weiner has acknowledged exchanging messages and photos that ranged from sexually suggestive to explicit with several women online.

Congress on Monday approved a two-week leave of absence for Weiner while he seeks treatment.

The action figure company also makes a plastic Sarah Palin, Barack and Michelle Obama and other talk-of-the-town figures.

Obama on Monday said he's resign if he were in Weiner's shoes.


John Pilgrim
Sent from my iPhone

Saturday, June 11, 2011

What do you get when mixing paint, beer and Xanax?

Authorities say Ramsey Charles Sheard, 21, of Palm Harbor, is accused of setting a neighbor's car on fire, slashing dozen's of car's tires and pouring paint on another car early Monday in the subdivision where he lived. Deputies counted 30 vehicles with damage, reports the St. Petersburg Times.
mug_sheard.jpeg
But detectives caught a break: They noticed a trail of paint leading to Sheard's garage.
When detectives met Sheard, they found the same paint on his clothing.
Sheard told detectives he had been drinking and taking Xanax when at around 3:30 a.m. in a fit of rage over personal issues he went out and began indiscriminately damaging his neighbor's vehicles, according to a Pinellas County Sheriff's Office release.

The Tax Man Cometh



ALBANY, N.Y. (AP) - Getting a lap dance isn't the same as taking in a ballet, so an alcohol-free strip club will have to pay the tax man, a New York state court has ruled.
Four Appellate Division justices agreed with a state tax appeals commission's earlier finding that dances onstage or in private rooms at the club Nite Moves in suburban Albany don't qualify for a state tax exemption as "dramatic or musical arts performances."
Nite Moves contested a tax bill of nearly $125,000 plus interest on lap dances and admission fees stemming from a 2005 audit. Its attorney, W. Andrew McCullough said Friday the club has a later, larger bill it is also challenging, and that he would probably appeal the Appellate Division ruling.
McCullough said the impact of the ruling probably won't be widespread since most establishments featuring exotic dancers as entertainment are bars mainly selling alcohol where other tax rules apply.
"We admit the ballet is a little different and maybe a little more finely tuned," McCullough said.
Still, the club tried to bolster its artistic argument with testimony from a cultural anthropologist who has studied exotic dance and visited Nite Moves, and who said the lap dances should be considered choreographed performances.
The court said it agreed with the state Tax Appeals Tribunal's determination that Nite Moves didn't present sufficient proof that it deserves a tax exemption. The court noted that the club's dancers aren't even required to have formal dance training, "and, in lieu thereof, often rely upon videos or suggestions from other dancers to learn their craft."
"It was purely and absolutely a value judgment," McCullough said, citing First Amendment issues about free expression and adult entertainment.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

What's up your butt?



A health board in Washington state has reversed itself and voted against endorsing a colon cancer awareness campaign that uses billboards saying, "What's up your butt?"



The Tri-City Herald reports that Wednesday's vote by the Benton Franklin Health District in Kennewick, Wash., was in response to complaints the ads are in poor taste.



The butt billboards were earlier displayed in Yakima to raise colorectal cancer awareness and encourage people to get screened for the disease.