Kidney for an Ipad 2

This guy sold one thing you don't need for another, which I guess makes sense.

Apple products are notoriously hard to get when they first come out, because as well all know, you either wait in line for days, or shell out an inordinate amount of cash or do the unforgivable and be a patient civilized human being, waiting a few extra weeks for something that will make your poops more fun.

Well, this 17 year-old Chinese teen just couldn't wait so instead of being patient, he became a patient. (*Catches the tomato you just threw and throws it back into the crowd screaming and ripping his shirt off*)

The kid, only identified by his surname Zheng since he's apparently a Dick Tracy villain of some kind (?), sold his kidney for an iPad 2. According to Shanghai Daily, the boy "wanted an iPad 2 but could not afford it." However, a "broker" (aka black market organ hustler) contacted the boy online and offered to help Zheng sell his kidney for 20,000 yuan (about $3,100). He agreed and had his kidney removed for an iPad 2 in what could only have been the safest of operating tables. Also, this almost makes me want to sell my kidney to finally afford that real doll I've been meaning to get for the carpool lane. I mean who needs two kidneys in this economy?

So he was given the money (roughly $3,400) right after the removal. He went home with an iPad and his mother asked where he got it (not where he was for days because I'm pretty sure surgery and recovery takes time if the movie 9 Months has taught me correctly). Anyway, he confessed to his mother what he had done and so she called the police like a jerk.

Strangely enough the police were unable to contact the black market dealer and brokers. Shocking that this guy was unreachable. And, of course, since the surgery Zheng has since had post-surgery issues. The hospital where his kidney was illegally removed wasn't qualified or equipped to do that kind of procedure. The hospital also claimed they had no knowledge of the surgery, though they did admit to contracting out the urology department to a Fijian businessman (the best urologists in the world).

Zheng's health continues to decline and while he may not be able to run and play sports like a normal 17 year-old he's already beat your high score on Angry Birds Seasons (2012) and your score on non-arcade Fruit Ninja.