Treat your man to "A Whole New World" of questionable sexual proclivity with this 2012 calendar of fairytale hotties and realistic-looking foxxxy blond mermaids, courtesy of the legendary comic book artist J. Scott Campbell.
Price: $25
Aurora Plush Unicorn Fancy Pal
Is your boyfriend just a bit too macho? Is he constantly starting bar fights and embarrassing you with his “rough around the edges” style? Maybe all this tough guy really needs is an elegant, fuzzy, stuffed pal. When a man feels truly fancy, he sees the whole world as fancy. That phrase is copyrighted.
Price: $9.99
Dinoprints
All men love a dinosaur—at least an illustrated one. By giving him this special gift, you will imply: "I would like to ride your Woolly Mammoth."
Price: $49.95
Pajama Jeans
Finally, a product that makes getting into her pants that much more convenient for everyone involved.
Price: $39.95
Milla Jovovich's Red Dress from Resident Evil: Extinction
Why limit your Resident Evil role-playing to the boring confines of the bedroom? Dress your lovely lady like the beautiful Milla Jovovich that you really wish her to be, all the while pretending to fight zombies in the post-apocalypse! She'll be ripping that red dress off before you can say, "Damn it, woman! That thing cost me four grand!"
Price: $3,999.99
Portable Stripper Pole
Now she won't have any more excuses for not exercising when you guys go out of town to visit your elderly relatives.
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